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Handy Tips To Be A More Effective Parent

Handy_tips

Listen

The problem with parents is that we think that we know best. To be fair, we often do. But when we are convinced of our own inevitable goodness, it’s tempting not to spend enough time actually understanding the problem and to just jump in with a solution. Especially when we are stressed, we often tend to underestimate the importance of process over outcome in children’s development and we forget the importance of listening to our children.

I mean by really listening to them. By zipping up our own mouths shut and by paying our entire attention to what our child is saying and how they are saying it. We must listen to them not just to understand the words but also their emotions and intent.

Listening to your toddler helps them calm down, when your child feels like he’s not being listened to his emotions will often escalate into frustration. Simply acknowledging that you recognised how your toddler feels can help them start to process that emotion and calm down.

 

Don’t Overcompliment your Child

As a parent we begin to get obsessed with complimenting our children. As we try to help them feel better about themselves 24-7, we actually may be doing more harm than good. When you praise your child for doing very basic things (pressing the elevator buttons or sliding down the slide), they’ll start to expect these compliments all the time, which will ultimately diminish the power and they’ll start to look up to you for approval after every tiny thing that they do.

But that does not that mean you should drop praise from your disciplinary playbook. If you use it the right way, it’s a valuable tool for reinforcing good behaviour, boosting your toddler’s self-esteem, and making them feel loved and appreciated.

Be specific about your compliments, instead of saying “Wow that’s a great drawing!”, say, “Wow look at that tree you’ve drawn and you’ve included birds too!” This encourages your toddler as it lets them know that you’re taking notice of their work.

Emphasize the effort more than the outcome. When your toddler starts a new activity rather than praising them about how well they do it you should compliment their enthusiasm and progress that they’ve made “You’ve worked really hard on learning how to draw and I’ve noticed you can now even draw a cat!”

Don’t brag, by overpraising your child in public “My child already knows how to count till 30”, not only tends to annoy other parents but also puts a lot of pressure on your little one to perform. This is often referred to as counterproductive praising.

We all want our toddlers to be happy, so instead of just giving them compliments, we must offer them chances to feel good about themselves. We can create opportunities for them to be self-sufficient and compassionate. This will not only help their self-esteem, but it will also allow them to spread this feeling of worthiness to those around them.

 

Have a daily routine

As adults, our reaction to routines varies. While some of us heavily rely on routines, others seem to find it rather dull. However, toddlers are different. Having a daily routine has a lot of benefits for young children.

Routines can help limit regular outbursts. A lot of outbursts that occurs in toddlers is primarily triggered by hunger and tiredness, therefore by developing a routine where they eat and sleep at a particular time helps the child to be emotionally prepared for the next task.

Routines also help children to learn the essential and basic life skills (Brushing their teeth, getting dressed, etc).  A simple daily routine provides a basis for toddlers to learn other important life skills such as basic hygiene, time-management, responsibility, independence, and confidence.

If children know what to expect, such as watching a film together one evening or making burgers together at the weekend, then they have something to look forward to.

Developing your own family ritual will give your toddler the feeling of security at home, as well as setting them up with good habits for life.

daily_routine

Being Imperfect is OK

“Life is perfectly imperfect,” so give yourself grace. No matter how hard we attempt to run our lives as smoothly as possible, especially as parents, the universe is usually always there to remind us that sometimes somethings are just beyond our control and sometimes we just have to trust our gut and do what we feel is right and comforting.

You’re always going to find yourself questioning your decisions about whether or not you got the right pram for your child or whether you shouldn’t have let them have that last piece of chocolate the other night.

As long as you’re getting the big decisions right about their safety and well-being you’re doing fine.

 

With each and every day passing by you will learn more about you toddler as well as about yourself as a parent. All you can do right now is try to be the best parent you can be.